Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are
objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic
jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in
the one ahead. ~Mac McCleary
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and
by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries
The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance," 1841
It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter
it all over the road. ~Author Unknown
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
~Dudley Moore
A pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons left
in the tank. ~Author Unknown
Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer. ~Author Unknown
It wasn't the Exxon Valdez captain's driving that caused the
Alaskan oil spill. It was yours. ~Greenpeace advertisement, New
York Times, 25 February 1990
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the
future of the human race. ~H.G. Wells
Your grandchildren will likely find it incredible - or even sinful -
that you burned up a gallon of gasoline to fetch a pack of cigarettes!
~Dr. Paul MacCready, Jr.
A city that outdistances man's walking powers is a trap for man.
~Arnold Toynbee
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not
giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~Albert Einstein
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. ~Author Unknown
Hug your kids at home, but belt them in the car. ~Author Unknown
A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense. ~American
Proverb
Americans are broad-minded people. They'll accept the fact that a
person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a
newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there is something wrong with
him. ~Art Buchwald, "How Un-American Can You Get?," Have I Ever Lied
to You?, 1966
Modern technology
Owes ecology
An apology.
~Alan M. Eddison
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. ~Author Unknown
When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the
stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is
shot. ~Larry Lujack
The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of
urban and suburban man. ~Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.
~Author Unknown
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down
inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. ~Dave Barry,
"Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"
The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the
ignition key. ~Edward Abbey
Restore human legs as a means of travel. Pedestrians rely on food for
fuel and need no special parking facilities. ~Lewis Mumford
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake
lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. ~Steven
Wright
The car has become a secular sanctuary for the individual, his shrine to
the self, his mobile Walden Pond. ~Edward McDonagh
A commuter tie-up consists of you - and people who for some reason won't
use public transit. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. ~Author
Unknown
Consider the man on horseback, and I have been a man on horseback for
most of my life. Well, mostly he is a good man, but there is a change
in him as soon as he mounts. Every man on horseback is an arrogant man,
however gentle he may be on foot. The man in the automobile is one
thousand times as dangerous. I tell you, it will engender absolute
selfishness in mankind if the driving of automobiles becomes common. It
will breed violence on a scale never seen before. It will mark the end
of the family as we know it, the three or four generations living
happily in one home. It will destroy the sense of neighborhood and the
true sense of Nation. It will create giantized cankers of cities, false
opulence of suburbs, ruinized countryside, and unhealthy
conglomerations of specialized farming and manufacturing. It will make
every man a tyrant. ~R.A. Lafferty, "Interurban Queen," 1970, a short
story set in the late 1800s (Thanks, Sam!)
Automobiles are not ferocious.... it is man who is to be feared.
~Robbins B. Stoeckel
No one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means.
~Garrett Hardin, The Ecologist, February 1974
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. ~Lewis Mumford
The shortest distance between two points is under construction. ~Noelie
Altito
Road rage is the expression of the amateur sociopath in all of us, cured
by running into a professional. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
Driving a brand new car feels like driving around in an open billfold
with the dollars flapping by your ears as they fly out the window.
~Grey Livingston
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that
the system works. ~Bill Vaughan
Each year it seems to take less time to fly across the ocean and longer
to drive to work. ~Author Unknown
If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane. ~Author
Unknown
Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac. ~Author Unknown
The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time
to do the speed limit. ~Jason Love
What fools indeed we morals are
To lavish care upon a Car,
With ne'er a bit of time to see
About our own machinery!
~John Kendrick Bangs
I represent what is left of a vanishing race, and that is the
pedestrian.... That I am still able to be here, I owe to a keen eye and a
nimble pair of legs. But I know they'll get me someday. ~Will Rogers
Recklessness is a species of crime and should be so regarded on our
streets and highways. ~Marlen E. Pew
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! ~Author unknown, as seen
on a shirt
Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car. ~E.B.
White, One Man's Meat, 1943
The greater part of my official time is spent on investigating
collisions between propelled vehicles, each on its own side of the road,
each sounding its horn, and each stationary. ~An English Lord Chief
Justice, quoted in 2,715 One-Line Quotations for Speakers, Writers
& Raconteurs by Edward F. Murphy
Life is too short for traffic. ~Dan Bellack
For every "Drive Safely" sign, shouldn't there be a "Resume Normal
Driving" sign? ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a
law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways. ~Will
Rogers
What a lucky thing the wheel was invented before the automobile;
otherwise can you imagine the awful screeching? ~Samuel Hoffenstein
Take most people, they're crazy about cars. They worry if they get a
little scratch on them, and they're always talking about how many miles
they get to a gallon, and if they get a brand-new car already they start
thinking about trading it in for one that's even newer. I don't even
like old cars. I mean they don't even interest me. I'd rather
have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake.
~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would
probably be Labor Day Weekend. ~Doug Larson
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. ~Jason Love
Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety.
~Australian Traffic Rule, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by
Maud van Buren
The automobile is technologically more sophisticated than the bundling
board, but the human motives in their uses are sometimes the same.
~Charles M. Allen
The car has become... an article of dress without which we feel
uncertain, unclad, and incomplete. ~Marshall McLuhan, Understanding
Media, 1964
And I, I took the road less traveled by. I was using a GPS system.
~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In
one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions." ~Robert
Brault, www.robertbrault.com
Walking isn't a lost art - one must, by some means, get to the garage.
~Evan Esar
The speedway ends at the cemetery. ~Author Unknown
We are not proving ourselves spiritually worthy of our material
progress. We have not been neighborly, courteous, and kind upon the
highway. Our lack of decency toward our fellow men is a definite black
mark against us. ~Cary T. Grayson
On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like
Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park. ~Curtis McDougall
The automobile has not merely taken over the street, it has dissolved
the living tissue of the city. Its appetite for space is absolutely
insatiable; moving and parked, it devours urban land, leaving the
buildings as mere islands of habitable space in a sea of dangerous and
ugly traffic. ~James Marston Fitch, New York Times, 1 May 1960
Remember folks, street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70
mph. ~Jim Samuels
I'm not sure... about automobiles.... With
all their speed forward they may be a step backward in civilization -
that is, in spiritual civilization. It may be that they will not add to
the beauty of the world, nor to the life of men's souls. I am not
sure. But automobiles have come, and they bring a greater change in our
life than most of us suspect. They are here, and almost all outward
things are going to be different because of what they bring. They are
going to alter war, and they are going to alter peace. I think men's
minds are going to be changed in subtle ways because of automobiles;
just how, though, I could hardly guess. But you can't have the immense
outward changes that they will cause without some inward ones, and it
may be that... the spiritual alteration
will be bad for us. Perhaps, ten or twenty years from now, if we can
see the inward change in men by that time, I shouldn't be able to defend
the gasoline engine, but would have to agree... that
automobiles 'had no business to be invented.' ~Eugene, from Booth
Tarkington's The Magnificent Ambersons, 1918
Remember the street car cannot turn out. ~Charles M. Hayes
I feel like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. ~Author
Unknown
You can't see anything from a car; you've got to get out of the goddamn
contraption and walk, better yet crawl, on hands and knees, over the
sandstone and through the thornbrush and cactus. When traces of blood
begin to mark your trail, you'll see something, maybe. ~Edward Abbey
